a reflection

Today I woke and realized that I have conquered a hill in my life and I can see the valley ahead. There was a point during my stay where I no longer felt like being here. A phase that I don't remember what it is called but I do know that there is a name for it. So anyways, I didn't really feel motivated to stay anymore. But obviously I am kind of stuck here and seeing my mom leave was kind of a reminder of that. I was metaphorically saying good by to my childhood and leaving to become an individual...a man.
I now feel detached from that which I felt held me back, I feel free to roam the world. Seeing my mom and knowing that she was okay with my travels gave me the serenity and peace that I needed in my life to do as I dream. Now I walk with a different attitude and am enjoying my stay even more. I however have to remind myself that this is temporary and that I will return. There is no doubt in me that I shall. I am certain of few things in this world among them my mortality, but as long as it doesn't take me away I know that I will return to the old world and the new world. I believe that I have set myself on the right path and now its a matter of time.
Where I will go I don't know but I am excited now more than ever to see what lies ahead. It's funny sometimes when I see people wake up and dread the days of their lives. I look forward to the future, yes it makes me nervous and I get anxiety at times, but I surround myself around good people that help me through those tough times.
I know that if I seek truth and do the things that make me happy I will find fulfillment in my life, even if they are not the most glamourous things society says one must do.
Being here has taught me to live. I value things differently and I have learned to appreciate that which surrounds me more. Namely people and life. It's been a bumpy road and I have had to fight some demons along that way that have been imbedded in me, but I feel that I have come a long way and that I am doing quite well actually.
It's funny because I no longer know who reads this blog anymore. Sometimes I feel that I am talking to myself and to an imaginary friend.
But anyways, I am happy and like a special person in my life told me, "Find out what you love to do and figure out how you can get paid doing that."
I am going to write a book about my coming of age. I know that it can't be hard and I think if anyone reads this blog there has to be someone who reads a book format of it.
Basically, its going to be about learning to appreciate and respect life, and incorporate that into your daily lives regardless of what you do for a living. I don't want to be a famous author I just want to make a difference on a greater scale. Kind of like the book. "Tuesdays with Morrie" a simple story with a deeper message, that's all. Matter of fact that wouldn't be a bad title: simple stories of life with a deeper meaning.
I believe that we all have the same struggle in life: survival. To survive we need to learn to live and be accepted in a society and have a degree of understanding and tolerance for everything around us. I think that just because we can't see the people on the other side of the river we tend to speculate things and thus create a lack of understanding. I especially see that when it comes to me as an American. I never realize how isolated we were from the rest of the world. I would like to reduce that barrier that isolates us. I know that we are moving towards a more global world and it wouldn't be too difficult to spread a message now days.
In retrospect, the constant learning and sharing of knowledge and views brings me joy...